Dinner as a Family

One of my favorite childhood memories, is how we always sat down together for dinner. We would sit in either our kitchen or our dining room and we all had our usual seat. Sometimes the meal would be fancy or, when my dad wasn’t home for dinner, it might be hamburger patties, macaroni and cheese, and carrot sticks. We never ate popcorn or cereal for dinner. On very rare occasions, we had breakfast for dinner.  But, no matter which table we were at, what we were eating, or whether or not my dad was home—which he mostly was—we always sat down to eat as a family.  In this area, I know that my husband was raised the same way.

   

This is something that is very important to both my husband and me. Each night we all sit at one table together, pray a blessing over the food, eat, and talk.  (There are nights where Patrick is working and cannot be home for dinner, and on these nights the rest of us still sit together at the table for dinner.) This will always continue because it is one of the few times in the day where we are all together as a family.  I believe that this is important for a few reasons:

1.) We teach our children table manners.  My kids are ages six, three, and ten months, and they are able to sit through an entire meal without being crazy.  Each night while we eat we are teaching our children as well as spending time with them. (“Sebastian, put your knees down and sit up straight at the table”, “Evelyn, we don’t wave our fork, with food on it, around or try to dance at the table,” “Cecilia, don’t scream or throw food on the ground.”) We remind them to say “please” and “thank you,” to just sit at the table and wait quietly if they finish before everyone else does, and then, when we are finished, to ask to be excused. They are not allowed to come, eat—or not eat as the case may be—get down when they want to be done, and run off to play more. We sit as a family until we are all finished.  Some evenings we will say prayers after the meal, or read a bible story. (This does not happen as often as we would like, but we are working on improving it.) It is a time where we focus upon each other and just being together.

2.) The kids learn that they are not the center of attention—something that is very important for them to learn. At dinner, Patrick and I have a conversation. This does not mean that the kids just sit there silently and never say a word, they are more than welcome to join into the conversation.  However, we are teaching them not to interrupt, and to not be too silly at the table while we are attempting to talk.  Patrick will also take the time to ask each child about their day and find out what they did.  This is an opportunity for the kids to tell daddy their special stories or exciting news about learning to ride their bike or something that they read in a book. 

3.) We all eat the same meal. I am not a special order cook, I do not make different food for the children, they eat what we eat. However, the kids are allowed to have one thing that they may choose to not eat, (Sebastian doesn’t like eggplant, Evelyn isn’t a huge fan of potatoes) but they have to eat everything else. We are teaching them that, someone took the time and energy to make you this food, be grateful, and even if you don’t really like it, you don’t show it, and you never say, “yuck.”

     

 The result of all of this work? We are able to enjoy family time (in a way that really means a lot to my husband) while also teaching our children how to behave in public. Do my children behave perfectly? Of course not. Is this a work in progress? Always, but it is something that I believe to be worth the effort.