Not My Will But Thine

A few months back the New Testament reading in Mass was Ephesians 5:22:-25:

           

            Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the Church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the Church is subject to Christ, so let wives be subject to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her.

This passage tends to bother some people, primarily women.  I have even heard some go so far as to say that it is only based on a certain historical time period and therefore, like covering their heads in church, it is obsolete to women in this modern age.  (Of course, some would argue that women should still cover their heads in church, but I’m not getting into that.)  This is of course ridiculous.  These verses are in the same chapter as “[t]herefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children.” Unless that we claim that this verse too is merely historical and not didactic, then we must take both verses as still being true today.

   Today, in this modern day and age, wives are told be subject to their husbands, and this is the best part, AS THEY WOULD BE SUBJECT TO GOD.  When I started to really think about this, I was slightly bothered by it.  One of the reasons being that, I Do Not always submit to my husband.  I do when it comes to the big stuff, and we always discuss things and, usually, agree, but not always.  And when I don’t agree, I don’t like to be subject to him.  But, God commands us in Scripture, “be subject to your husbands in EVERYTHING.”  This is not easy.  So, I talked to my husband about it, and he pointed something out to me.  The verse goes on to give a command to husbands, “Husbands, love your wives, JUST AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH and gave Himself up for her.” If the husband is loving the wife, like he Should, then it will not be hard for her to be subject to him.  But, man is fallen, and husbands don’t always love their wives as they are commanded.  Does this mean that we women are off the hook?  No.  Just because someone else sins does not mean that we have permission to sin as well.  This is where the hard part comes in, continuing to obey, even when they are not. The Bible doesn’t tell us that we only need to follow its commands in certain situations, or as long as A, B, and C are true.  We must always obey, whether we feel like it or not. 

   One reason that people have so much trouble with this passage is that the world thinks, and teaches, that it is a bad thing to be subservient to someone else. But, on the contrary, I would argue that this is a gift and a blessing given especially to women.  As women, by submitting to our own husbands—note that it says wives to their own husbands, not all women to all men—we are granted an opportunity to be more like Christ.

    When I was a sophomore in college, I remember being at the home of my English professor with some fellow students.  I don’t remember why I was there, but I know that it was some solemnity or feast day—I was not Catholic at the time so I didn’t know anything about the liturgical calendar. But, I have a vague memory of it being something important that had to do with Holy Mother Mary.  What I do remember clearly, is my professor reading two passages from the gospel of Luke.

  Luke 1:38, “And Mary said, ‘Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; May it be done to me according to your word.’”

  And Luke 22:42, when Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, before the crucifixion, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from me; yet no my will, but Yours be done.”

My professor then said something that I shall never forget.  “Jesus was Truly Mary’s son.” Mary, by her own actions and words, taught her son how to submit to the Father. In order for God to redeem mankind, two people had to submit.  They had to say, “Not my will, but Thine.” Why then should we do any less? 

  Rather than thinking that we Have to submit, we should think that we Get to do so.  We are given the opportunity to be more like Christ by putting others before ourselves.  Thomas Howard in On Being Catholic states it thus:

               What word better catches the true relation between the Most High and the whole of his creation than the word subordination? Ordered under; arranged, destines, appointed under. Therein lies the dignity of the creature. The mightiest powers in creation, the seraphim, hide their faces and cover their feet as they incessabili voe proclamant Holy! before the Most High. For us mortals, the word subordination often seems stained with the tincture of slavery, obsequiousness, and sycophancy. We hear only with great difficulty how it rings in the heavens with joy and honor. Subordination down here in this vale of tears is freighted with the sad freight of the curse: toil; burdens; bondage. But heaven unfurls the reality of which our worldly notion is a poor travesty. It knows that there is no dignity so inestimable as the dignity of the creature—angel, man, or woman—who can bow and offer his particular dignity at the footstool of the Living One from whom all dignity flows.

               One creature demurred on the point and fell like lighting from heaven. Lucifer, the Light-bearer himself, despised this august subordination and ruined the universe. We, in thrall here on earth, in the realm of this Prince of Darkness, find ourselves inclined to demur. Non serviam: I will not serve. I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. So say we in our folly. (182-83)

  It is not always easy to do any of these things. Mary and Christ’s decisions to submit themselves was no small thing; it was probably the hardest thing they ever did. (Though, it could be argued that it was much harder for Mary to watch her son be crucified. But yet again she had to say, “Not my will but Thine.”) Sin is easy; doing what is right, is not, but we need to do it anyway.