The Sacrifice of Homemaking

Why is it that so many women become dissatisfied with the task of homemaking? The world views homemakers as “discontent” and “unfulfilled” for a reason, but what is it?  Are some women desperate to escape the home because they finally recognize their home and family for the chains that they really are and therefore they desire to be free of them?  This is what many people think, especially feminists. They claim that women have been downtrodden for centuries but are now rising up and throwing off the shackles of male domination and family life.  Women are taking their rightful place in the work world and beginning to make their mark rather than settling for the obscurity of the home front. Yet, what those who believe these lies do not see is that they have it all backwards.  

One of the reasons that many women are discontent with “merely taking care of the home” is because they have been bombarded with propaganda that tells them that homemaking is not enough. Homemaking has been portrayed as unimportant, small, and secondary to everything else.  At least, the smart, driven, well-educated women are seen as being wasted in the home.  Rather, they should leave that to the women who are too stupid or not capable of doing anything else. (Heck, isn’t that what the Nanny is for?)

Where does this mind set come from? Something that was good and noble has been taken and twisted almost beyond recognition.  This warped way of thinking has come out of the rise of individualism.  We live in an extremely individualistic time and are constantly told to, basically, be selfish; “look out for number one,” “take some ‘Me’ time,” “focus on My needs and My desires,” “I need to think about what is best for Me.”  With the rise in individualism there is a rise in selfishness and an increase in the divorce rate.  When personal pleasure, happiness, and desires are put above the needs of others, it is no wonder that traditional families and homemakers have come under attack. 

John Paul II once said, “To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the children.  Each member of the family has to become, in a special way, the servant of others.”  The task of a homemaker is one of service toward others.  There is the obvious service towards others, such as washing their clothes, making the meals, and generally working to provide all that they need to survive.  But, that selflessness also is seen when she gives her last bite of food to her little boy who asked for it; when she irons those shirts for her husband, even though she HATES to iron; when she climbs up to clean those gutters, not because her husband Won’t do it, but so that he Doesn’t Have to do it.  She gets up early with the kids so that her husband can get a little more sleep.  Selflessness is that fifth game of CandyLand, even though she would really rather be reading a book during her twenty minute break.  It is also seen when she has to leave Mass, AGAIN, in order to quiet a noisy toddler.  All of these acts are selfless and yet, people don’t usually watch the mom (or dad) walk out of church and think about what they are sacrificing. The homemaker rarely receives accolades for these selfless acts and some go completely unnoticed. 

Homemaking is about sacrifice and not just from the wife.  The husband sacrifices daily by going to work and providing for the family so that his wife can stay home. The homemaker sacrifices in countless ways, and perhaps one of those ways is ceasing to work outside of the home in order to provide the attention and time necessary to be a full-time homemaker. This is what the world does not understand, it is not all about me.  In all things we must strive to be Christlike and putting others before oneself is one of the key ways that we can do that.  If we are not content with that, it is because we no longer recognize and appreciate the magnitude and importance of our task, not because there is something wrong with the task itself.