Don't Settle for Less, Strive for More

This is a post that I wrote in November of 2012. I am re-posting it because, for the past few days, this is something that I have really needed to be reminded of. Whenever I feel stressed or overwhelmed, I start trying to blame the external circumstances of my life, rather than turn and look at my own actions.


Homemaking is very hard.  It is exhausting, both mentally and physically, and sometimes it is boring.  However, it seems to me that upon occasion we homemakers tend to make excuses, if not to the world, then at least to ourselves.  We use the difficulties of the task as a crutch rather than as an obstacle to overcome.  I for one have had the days where I find myself making some sort of excuse as to why I didn’t get much of anything done that day.  “The kids were really difficult” or “things just came up” are two of the excuses that might come out of my mouth when my husband asks the question, “How was your day?” The children may have been more difficult than usual, but that probably isn’t the reason that I hardly accomplished anything and we ate pancakes for dinner. Why can't I just say to him, "I'm sorry about the house and the meal, I'm off my game today." Instead I get defensive at an innocent question and attempt to pass blame off to other things or people rather than owning up to my own weaknesses.

There are days where I am just off, where I don’t want to do anything, and it is a struggle to make myself wash those dishes or fold that laundry.  (Things like folding the laundry are especially hard because we really don’t HAVE to do it.  Where I have to wash the dishes in order to make the next meal, I can keep the laundry in a basket, in the corner, for a long time without it really being a problem.)   While the day may have been “more difficult”---and some days TRULY are---I should also ask myself, “How much time did I waste?” “How much time was spent on the computer or talking on the phone?” “Did I turn on the television, ‘just for a minute’?” We need to honestly examine our days and ask ourselves, “Did I really try my best or did I do as little as I could get away with?” 

Another thing that people (not just homemakers, but EVERYONE) tends to do is overemphasize the difficulty of our situations.  We convince ourselves that something is harder than it really is and therefore, we forgive ourselves a lack of effort in the face of these challenges. Instead, we need to recognize that the harder the situation the more organized and orderly we need to be.  Is my house messy because I had too much to do or because I just didn’t care enough to clean?  Did I not have time to fold the laundry because I was too busy taking care of a sick child or because I was reading a magazine?

I, as a mother of two four and a naturally-tidy husband have it easier than the woman who works part time, has five children, a set of twins, and an untidy husband. While things may be even more difficult for the woman with seven children, a large house, and a part-time job, it pales in comparison to the woman with ten kids, who homeschools them all, keeps a tidy home, volunteers at the church, and attends daily mass.  My point is that it is difficult for everyone, we just need to have a realistic understanding of exactly how hard things really are.  At the same time we need to not settle for a certain status quo. The fact that life is busy is not an excuse.  We shouldn’t settle for the way things are now, but rather should strive to do more (and I don't mean more activities), to be better, more organized, more ordered, more faithful, kind, and loving.  Will I always accomplish this? Will I make mistakes and have bad days? Of course. I just need to own up to them and try to do better tomorrow.   As humans we are not perfect, but Matthew 5:48 states “Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”  We are called to try to be perfect, not to settle for less because the task is hard.