I Have Done Enough

My sister-in-law recently had an interesting conversation with a fellow academic.  At one point during the conversation the man said that his wife had sacrificed by putting her career on hold in order to have a baby.  Now, he would like to have more children, but he thinks that it is not fair for him to ask her to sacrifice more.  She has, in his words, sacrificed enough. 

I am relaying this story not to gripe about the “One Child and Done” mentality or the woman who has a baby and then must hurry back to her career.  What I find so very sad about this conversation is that it is an example of a point of view that is rather widely held.  Many people seem to think that we have a “right” to be selfish.  We can give of ourselves, but only so much because there comes a point where we have sacrificed enough and we now deserve to think of ourselves; we must put ourselves first.  Even if we are not as blunt about it as this, we still hold this view, I know I do.  Every day when my kids go down for a nap, I take some time to relax and get my energy back for the rest of the day.  It is a good thing that I do this, it is best for my family that I do this as it means I am not as cranky.  However, it is not my RIGHT to do it.  If I have other people to take care of and a house to clean and there just isn’t time in the day for me to take a break, I don’t get to say, “Ok, I have given enough today, I’m just not going to make dinner or change any more diapers.” It doesn’t work that way.  God doesn’t tell us to love selflessly as long as it is easy--that is why it is called a Sacrifice. 

Sacrifice is the “forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.” When we decide that we have “sacrificed enough” we are saying that other people are of less value to us than ourselves.  Think of this definition and how it applies to Christ’s crucifixion.  Christ sacrificed Himself for us.  He decided that we were more important, of more worth, of more value, than Himself, than of God Himself.  Yes, Christ rose from the dead, but He died, and His rising makes His sacrifice no less significant.  But what if He had changed His mind?  What if, after one set of scourging Christ decided that He had sacrificed enough, that He was done.  Part of a crucifixion is not enough, Christ had to DIE, not just be badly wounded. 

Considering the sacrifice that He made, God asks very little of us in return.  But, we are called to be like Christ, which means that we are also called to suffer.  The modern world thinks that sacrifice is a bad thing, but it isn’t.  When we suffer, when we sacrifice something for others, we ourselves are changed for the better.  If I devote selfless love towards my family, it will increase my understanding of the selfless love of God.  And when we sacrifice and give to others, we need to do so, not grudgingly, but with a joyful heart.