I write a lot about working hard, getting things done,
needing to be organized, holding oneself to a higher standard, etc. This is because I am usually writing to
myself and I always need the reminders.
Of course, this does not mean that I am always perfectly hardworking,
organized, put-together, etc. I have
LOTS of bad days. The last two weeks
were the busiest/craziest weeks that I have had yet in terms of
the amount of time I was running around, the number of activities, and the time
away from home. I had one morning where
I didn’t have to leave the house until 12:30, and I was frantically trying to
get stuff done, but I was having a very hard time focusing and actually
accomplishing anything. Then it hit me, I was EXHAUSTED. No wonder I was feeling so un-motivated. Of
course, I was also feeling extremely guilty about my lack of productivity. I knew that I was exhausted, but yet, I
couldn’t get over this feeling that I was failing.
All in all, now
that I am out of the craziness, I have been thinking a lot about what I did
right and what I could have done to make the weeks (despite the busyness) a bit
more peaceful. When life is stressful,
is it possible to not be stressed? One thing that I did realize today is that,
sometimes, it is okay not to get much done.
We are at our jobs 24/7. Even
when the family goes on vacation, the mom never gets a vacation. How then, are we supposed to do our jobs well
and give our all to our families without having a nervous breakdown? We have to
learn how to let things go and stop. Yes, we all need a Saturday away from the
house, alone, once in a while (once a month would be GREAT!), but what about
during the week? What if we can’t get away?
DON’T FEEL GUILTY
Take a day at home where you don’t try to get lots of stuff
done, and DON”T FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. Have a simple meal (or scrambled eggs or
frozen pizza or jarred spaghetti) for dinner and don’t feel guilty. Spend the day reading books to the kids,
reading to yourself while sitting on the couch. Let the kids play outside while
you sit drinking iced tea and writing in a journal or reading a book or a
magazine. Call someone on the phone and chat. Don’t try to do laundry. Don’t
try to get the house perfectly clean. Just Relax! Tomorrow, you can get back to
work. But on this one day, STOP, and take advantage of time.
REDEEM THE TIME
All too often we have bad days, like I did last week, where
things just Don’t Get Done. On these
days I usually waste time on the computer or doing something else
counter-productive. This of course does
not refresh me, but rather it makes me feel even more tired and anxious as the
guilt over the wasted time builds.
Instead, I need to give myself permission to take a break and then use
that time in a truly relaxing way; like reading, playing a game with the kids,
crafting (for those who like to do this), gardening, baking, etc.
TAKE A DAY OUT
If you are a full-time homemaker, the fact that your home is
your work means that in a way, you never truly leave it. Back when I worked in
an office, it was much easier to “leave my work at work.” Perhaps you are not
able to sit down and relax, at home. Take the kids and go out for the day. We
are lucky enough to live near a Botanical Garden. Once in a while I will pack a
simple lunch, and the kids, and we will just meander through the gardens for a
morning. The kids will bring coloring or drawing, and I will read a story to them as we sit
by a pretty fountain and some lovely flowers. One nice aspect of this is that I
get to spend some quality time with the kids and they see me away from home,
where I am constantly needing to, “get stuff done.” Even better, perhaps you
are blessed enough to have a husband who can, once in a while, take a weekday
off from work. Then, you could all go for a hike or to the gardens or a park,
together. The nice thing about doing
this on a weekday is that places aren’t as busy as they are on weekends.
We work hard at what we do, and that is good. But sometimes
we need to take a step back and allow ourselves the freedom to stop and rest.
When we do this, we are able to restore some semblance of peace to our lives.
If you can avoid it, do not spend this time organizing your planner or doing
your menu plan. Completely unplug from the work of the home and do something
that makes you feel like the smart, put-together, fun woman that you are. Do
it, I give you permission.